john my beloved

so can we pretend sweetly
before the mystery ends?

so can we be friends, sweetly
before the mystery ends?

so can we contend, peacefully
before my history ends?

- sufjan stevens, john my beloved

This order feels right. And whether age or resignation has led him there the endpoint seems honest too. To struggle peacefully - with someone else or ourselves - more than being something they aren't alone or together.