guy clark

"As a white guy from a blue collar small town, I think about the two possible artistic paths: the Townes Van Zandt path and the Guy Clark path. The Townes Van Zandt path is the more Romantic one, I think. To be a visionary tortured artist, adored by those who don’t misunderstand or ignore you. To wrestle with the ephemeral and prophetic. To die young and leave behind a brilliant body of work. Doing this, it seems, also means relying on nothing but your own talent. And if you’re a genius like Townes Van Zandt, it also means to burn up in that genius. Not just burn up, but burn up solitarily. Alone. When I was a drunken poet in Arkansas in my 20s, that was the path I wanted: to take my shot at being a Townes Van Zandt or Frank Stanford. But for the last 10+ years, I’ve been trying to take the Guy Clark path. To be less tortured visionary than inspired craftsman. To write about this world, but to do so with such precision and openness that other worlds seem to lurk in perpetual possibility. Part of this transition was simply falling in love and realizing that I had something more than art to live for. But part of it was also seeing Heartworn Highways. Specifically the scenes at Guy and Susannah Clark’s house at Christmastime, everyone drinking and playing songs and communing together. A light went of for me: that’s what I want. To be a great artist, but to also be good company. I realized I didn’t actually want the short brilliant, tortured artist’s life. I actually wanted the long career, the long marriage, the long friendships, the open house. RIP Guy Clark. I wish I could’ve met you. But I feel like I’ve known you and learned from you for a long time."

- Tony Tost

john my beloved

so can we pretend sweetly
before the mystery ends?

so can we be friends, sweetly
before the mystery ends?

so can we contend, peacefully
before my history ends?

- sufjan stevens, john my beloved

This order feels right. And whether age or resignation has led him there the endpoint seems honest too. To struggle peacefully - with someone else or ourselves - more than being something they aren't alone or together.

i've seen it happen

jeff tweedy, in a guardian interview, said that when his sons turn him onto new music he can show them the sound's influence. which makes sense, though i was surprised he called it the better version. i haven’t thought of him as an older artist until that statement, despite the knock that wilco is “dad rock”, whatever the fuck people think that means. jeff also said that between he and his sons not much slips between the cracks with new music listening. which reminded me that years ago he spoke to letting go of the urge to feel he had to obsessively listen to every b side. i'm not hating. i'm sure if i were talented enough to have people document what i thought about things, there'd be some evolutions. and contradictions. but it bothered me because i talk to college students a lot. i ask them about their taste in music. i don’t feel like i have to listen to everything (this means you, the xx) but i also know sometimes they have the “better” version. whatever the fuck that means. anyway, here’s an example: this is as good as anything we had around in the 90s (and is at least three times better than the decemberists).

shows

september

21 - aparna nacherla - motorco comedy night
21 - ray wylie hubbard - southland
22 - joe purdy - cat's cradle
24 - tennis - cat's cradle
27 - j mascis - local 506
27 - love language - cradle
27 - j roddy wilson and the business - lincoln

october

2 - mary lynn rajskub - goodnights
4 - mount moriah - cradle (4 band lineup)
10 - steven gunn - pinhook
16 - tune yards - cradle
17 - open mike eagle - motorco
19 - hannibal burress - raleigh
24 - todd snider - cradle
25 - wilco - nc museum of art
26 - david bazan 
27 - orenda fink - cradle back room
29 - susan boyle - dpac
30 - paul mccartney - greensboro
30-1 - charlie murphy - goodnights

november

1 - yonder mountain string band - ziggys (winston)
3 - dum dum girls - kings
4 - meat puppets + cass mccombs - local 506
6 - jason isbell and sturgill simpson - dpac
8 - rufus wainwright - carolina theater (durham)
15 - guided by voices - cradle
22 - jonathan richman - cradle
26 - trans siberian orchestra - greensboro
28/29 - mandolin orange - cradle

december

31 - avetts

tomorrow

Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow?

flirted with you all my life

GROSS: Vic, let's talk about the lyric. The song is about flirting with suicide, but from what I've read, you've done more than flirt with it. It's something you've tried.

Mr. CHESNUTT: Right. Well, this song is a love song. It's a suicide's breakup song with death. You know, I've attempted suicide three or four times. It didn't take. And this is really a breakup song with death. You know, it's talking about flirting with, you know, flirting - I had flirted with death my whole life, you know. Even as a young kid, I was sick and almost died a few times. And then suicide attempts - it's a kind of - you know, it's a breakup song.

GROSS: Did you try to kill yourself even before the accident?

Mr. CHESNUTT: I did, yeah.

GROSS: And after the accident?

Mr. CHESNUTT: I did, yeah.

GROSS: And each time when you came through, when as you put it, death didn't take, were you relieved or sorry?

Mr. CHESNUTT: Well, you know, it's more complex. You can't... I couldn't say either. I mean, you know, sometimes I'd be angry.

GROSS: Angry that...

Mr. CHESNUTT: Angry that they revived me, you know? I'd be like, how dare you? You know, how dare you people interfere in my, you know, what is obviously my life, my wish? But you know, of course, as the hours and days wear on, you realize well, there is joy to be had. I mean, this is how I - I'm sure everybody's different, you know, just how I, how it struck me. You know, when the days would wear on, you know, I would start to, you know, see some joy again in the world and be like whew, I eked - I squeaked that one out.

GROSS: This is such an emotionally heavy album. Is it hard to write a song like this, about flirting with suicide, or is it therapeutic to write it, or you know...?

Mr. CHESNUTT: Well, it occurred to me that I would like to sing this song where at the first half of it, you think I'm singing it about a lover, and then it becomes obvious that I'm singing about death. Death is my lover. And it took a bit of time to get it to fit just right and to work. And when we were actually cutting the track, it was hard to make it through without kind of breaking down emotionally and just crying. You know, it's a heavy song, no doubt about it.

GROSS: Now, one of the heavy lines in it is about your mother. You write, when my mom was cancer sick, she fought but then succumbed to it, but you made her beg for it. Lord Jesus please, I'm ready. How old were you when she died?

Mr. CHESNUTT: I was in my mid-20s. And that's the thing about a suicidal person, I think, is that, you know, I mean, right after my mom died was, like, one of my last suicide attempts. It really destroyed me. My dad had died a year before, and that was the end of my whole close family, who had all died off within two or three years of each other: my grandpa, my grandma, my other grandma, my mom and my dad. They all died off in a couple of years. And so I felt lost, and I was depressed. But also you see - a suicidal person, when you see somebody else die of natural causes or whatever, for me it's also a kind of wakeup call.

GROSS: Tell me more about what, the effect that had?

Mr. CHESNUTT: Well, like when my friends have died or something like that, it made me feel silly. My sorrow seemed silly and that I'm not ready to go. As I said in the song, the sweet relief, I'm not - I don't deserve the sweet relief of death yet, because I haven't accomplished my tasks yet.

GROSS: Um...

Mr. CHESNUTT: But I do want to say one thing, though, about this song.

GROSS: Yeah, go ahead.

Mr. CHESNUTT: This song is a joyous song, though. I mean, it's a heavy song, but it is a joyous song. This is a breakup song with death, you know what I mean?

GROSS: Right, because you're saying clearly, I wasn't ready.

Mr. CHESNUTT: I'm not ready to kill myself, you know. It's a joyous song, so -and it has these very heavy aspects, you know, but it's a joyous song.

das racist

lincoln theater, raleigh nc